


All of You

by evilsupergirl



Series: Our song [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Flashbacks, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:38:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilsupergirl/pseuds/evilsupergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story about Jaebum needing more than a good butt buddy to feel complete. Or something sappy like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of You

Im Jaebum didn't want to move. He also couldn't move, not completely. If he could, he would get up, remove the used condom from his dick, roll it in wads of toilet paper and chuck it into the trash can. And he will do all this, soon, but first…

“Jinyoung-ie, you have to get up.”

“Five more minutes.” Jinyoung replied into Jaebum’s neck. The lower half of his body was still straddled and settled around Jaebum’s waist. The only part that moved was his hand as it slowly crept inside Jaebum’s shirt. “And why didn't you remove your shirt?” He ran his fingers lightly up Jaebum’s stomach, towards his chest, pushing the shirt up with it. Jinyoung knew that Jaebum’s sensitive “area”, besides the obvious place, was a straight (ish) line starting from the back of his ears and beelining down (no nipple side steps) to his cock. Jinyoung continued to abuse this knowledge as his fingers continued their tantalizing journey up Jaebum’s body.

Jaebum hadn’t thought about his own clothes when he had been undressing Jinyoung. Their nights tend to be a bit rushed whenever the younger man took the lead. Not that Jaebum minded. “Mmmm… why didn't you take off your socks?” Not that he minded that either. It was a rare sight to even seen Jinyoung wearing socks unless he had to.

“I read somewhere that it helps. Keeps the blood circulation strong or something.”

“Where, the fifty shades book?”

“No, in a magazine.” By this point, Jinyoung had begun to slowly rub circles on his chest, near his neck. 

“Did it help?” Jaebum got a smile against his neck and paused fingers as a response. “Well?” Jinyoung pressed his head against his shoulder more firmly and said nothing. There is this ride at Lotte World that swings it’s passengers back and forth, on a giant gondola or viking ship or pirate ship or whatever the ride wants to be named this year, like a giant pendulum. Much like this ride, Jaebum was amazed at how quickly Jinyoung’s mind frame could shift from one of a lewd sex pot to that of a blushing bride. Then again, Jaebum’s own moods could also shift quickly. His euphoric high was fading as his heart sped up for a different reason. This was it. This could be it. Make this be it. Here, Jaebum had to force out the words, “You stay.” He didn't even know if he meant it as a question or a statement. Given that Jinyoung had decided to lift his head up and look at Jaebum as if he now had two fully grown heads, he was just as confused. Where had all the flowery words gone that Jaebum had rehearsed before Jinyoung snuck into his room tonight? And it had been a speech.. an assortment of many words… a few, must-have phrases that he had been crafting since having an enlightening conversation with Jackson several months ago. 

At the time, Jackson had asked, “Who is she?”, after Jaebum had laid out the basic facts of the situation and had clearly omitted other facts, such as “gender”. 

“She’s none of your business.” Or he flat out lied about the gender thing.

“But I can give you better advice if I know who you are wooing.”

“Don’t say “wooing”.

“Seducing?” Mark tried. The conversation had initially begun between Mark and him, but Jackson had somehow meandered his way in and took over. Mostly.

“Already got that covered.” Jaebum muttered more to himself than to the others, but both men had gotten better at being able to decipher Jaebum’s mumblings over the years. 

So, Jackson was able to respond with, “Bet you do. Fine, how about, “make yours”, you want to make her exclusively yours?” That was it! The phrase! Now, just say, Jinyoung, will you please be exclusively mine.

Back in the present, Jinyoung huffed out an, “I get it. I’m getting up.” And as he started to do this, one hand also moved down and gracefully and swiftly removed the condom for Jaebum, twisting a knot at the top of it as he stood. Shit, he was going to leave.

“Wait.” At Jinyoung’s stare, Jaebum’s mouth closed and his mind emptied. It was always harder to refocus on things, words mostly, after sex. It was amazing that sex had become an aspect of their relationship at all.

It's not like that had been well thought out either.

At the start of it, life was crashing down around them and Jaebum had an inconsolable Jinyoung in his arms. They were sitting on their couch, what had been their couch, who knew where they would be staying, would be living, now. Forty minutes ago, they had been in a meeting. A long, agonizing meeting that had begun with a “we know you've worked hard” and ended with a “we hope you'll work harder in the future”. There had been some bullshit in the middle about their group of two, their duo, always having been meant to live up to their “project” name. There was talk of a four member group. With promising members of the dance team. Maybe. If they trained hard. If they re-trained hard. 

The news of their disbandment was aggravating, confusing, and humbling. At the beginning of their short careers, they had tried and had met with mediocre success as actors, and it was supposed to have been their soft launch as the only “group” Jaebum had been aware of. He thought they had done well this time around as singers, as idols. Jinyoung tightening his grip on his sweatshirt brought him back to the truth. It was over.

“This is such… they don't know what they were talking about. They just don't know what to do with us. How to market us. They tried to fit us into all these different images…”

“And we failed.” Jinyoung croaked out. He dug his head deeper into Jaebum’s chest. Jaebum ran his hand through the other’s hair.

“We didn't fail.” Jinyoung loosened his grip enough to look up at Jaebum. The younger man’s expression didn’t change as Jaebum used his shirt sleeve to gently wipe away some of the snot and tears that adorned his face. A face full of judgement. No, Jaebum wasn't being delusional, “I’m not being delusional, I-”

“Jaebum hyung-ie, listen, you know they only said we’re going back to being trainees so it can be easier to kick us out late-”

“We’re not gonna get kicked out. We’re going to work hard and be a part of whatever new group they want to debut next, and-”

“You really think they'll put us together? Again?” Jinyoung’s voice cracked at the end.

“Sure, why not?” Though even as he asked, Jaebum’s mind supplied the answer: because they already failed together.

Jinyoung whispered, “I don't want to do it without you.” Before this day, Jaebum had honestly thought he was towards the bottom of the list of Jinyoung’s favorite people (based on the times Jinyoung would literally list him last). Though, now with the possibility of being separated, he also couldn't imagine training or singing on stage without the younger man by his side. He didn’t want to. As he refocused on Jinyoung, he noticed their faces had gotten a lot closer. Were getting closer still. He couldn't tell who was moving. Maybe they both were. They stopped when their lips touched lightly. Then the kiss turned a bit more urgent. A warm jolt traveled down Jaebum’s body and pooled between his legs. Jinyoung’s hands squeezed his shoulders and his own wandered down Jinyoung's back. Then they heard the sound of their front door open and shut. Jinyoung bolted back, his hands now holding himself upright against the couch as Jaebum’s hands fell to his own knees. Their eyes never broke contact as their manager entered the living room and took in the scene.

“What’s going on here?”

Jaebum had no idea what he looked like, but Jinyoung's uneven breathing, flushed face and bloodshot eyes helped him to sell the line, “We’re upset.” Jinyoung nodded along with the words. Jaebum finally broke eye contact to look over at their older housemate. It looked like he bought the half-truth. Though, Jaebum had no idea what conclusions their manager came to concerning their kiss bitten lips.

The sound of a used condom hitting a plastic bag - lined trash bin snapped Jaebum back to the present. 

As did Jinyoung’s words, “Hyung, if you want to talk about something, then talk. Are you feeling okay?” Jinyoung was too close to the door for his liking. He sat up.

“I’m fine. Just… I want you to stay.” He tried again.

Jinyoung turned toward him and asked, “Why?” Why did Jinyoung sound defensive?

“Don't you want to?”

“I thought you were done testing me.” Oh.

“This isn't a test.” Though Jaebum could see how Jinyoung would think that. There may have been a dozen or so times when he has felt the need to reestablish their relationship status and do all the talking (and trying to trick Jinyoung into admitting if his feelings for him had gotten “deeper”) that this entailed. Ultimately, they were friends who had sex, this was how they defined their current relationship back when they had had to define it…

At first, back then, they hadn't even acknowledged the couch kiss. They had gone back to being trainees. They were then put in a group of four people (the other two being Mark and Jackson, who he actually liked; he couldn’t say that about every trainee. Jinyoung liked them too, which is rarer for him) and into a new dorm. Then Youngjae joined. Then the group's two youngest. The changes happened so quickly that Jaebum barely had time to complain about having his hair bleached yet again. He'll be bald by the time he is 30. 

Looking back on it, he's surprised that Jinyoung had waited as long as he did to do what he did. Or that he, “manly” Jaebum, hadn't said something first. But it was Jinyoung who had taken his sweet time getting his stuff together after one of their more grueling practices (their first music video as Got7 would be filmed tomorrow). 

"Hurry, hurry." He had said to Jinyoung as he stood by the doorway, ready to go. He could leave Jinyoung, but he didn't like the idea of any of them walking back alone to the dorm this late.

"No." Then again, Jinyoung's a big boy.

"What?"

"So we're really not going to talk about it?" Jaebum looked down the hallway, he could see their manager stopped up ahead. Jaebum waved him to go on. He then reentered the practice room where Jinyoung was glaring at him from the other side. He shut the door.

"Talk about what?"

"Don't play dumb, you're not." Jaebum forcefully unclenched his jaw. It wouldn't be good if this turned into a screaming match. But why did this kid have to come at him like this? As if it was his fault they haven't addressed the gay thing that happened between them. Sorry, it’s not everyday he kisses his same sex friend in a way that leaves him wanting. He doesn't even know how, emphasis on the “how”, to talk about it.

"There's nothing to say." A lie, but Jaebum suddenly felt too tired to continue this conversation anyway. He walked over to the couch and grabbed Jinyoung's coat. The other hadn't moved an inch.

"What? How can you say that? You really don't even want to acknowledge that we kissed? It didn't seem like you disliked it at the time."

"I didn't." Jaebum said, then he tried to find more words in Jinyoung's coat, but came up blank.

"You didn't like it?"

"I didn't dislike it." Now Jinyoung moved. Closer to him. 

His voice softened, "Neither did I." Great, they both liked that thing they did. Okay. Great. The elephant was now dead or whatever happens when an issue gets addressed. 

Plus, it's not like, "We can't do that again, you know. It- it's dangerous." Plus, they already got semi-fired once, there’s no need to give the higher-ups a legit reason to terminate their contracts. 

"Would you want to, if we could?" Jaebum abandoned the mute coat and looked over to its owner. Big mistake. He was sweaty and close and hopeful. And Jaebum's resolve cracked. Too tired to fight it and to wanting to.

"Would you?" 

"Yes." Stop coming closer and being the braver one, Park Jinyoung. Too late, they were sharing body heat now. 

"I- it.." Fuck it. "Well, technically, we haven't debuted yet..so, it will only really be dangerous after that. And that's only if we're stupid about this."

"This? About what?" Now who was playing the fool. Jaebum grinned a toothless grin and dropped the coat. His hand gripped Jinyoung's jaw instead, the other went around the younger man's waist. He gave Jinyoung plenty of time to push him away. He didn’t. Instead, their lips and bodies pressed together and their tongues flirted for the first time. When their lips parted, Jinyoung wrapped his arms around Jaebum’s neck, embracing him in a tight, quick hug. He then slid down to the floor as he let go. Jaebum had heard about people feeling weak in the knees during this kind of situation. His smile was renewed as he bent down, hand extended. Jinyoung, however, pushed the offered hand away as he sat up on his knees, hooded eyes gazing past the hand and at Jaebum. His other hand slid up Jaebum's leg. His fingers curled over the hem of Jaebum's sweatpants and he said, "Let me." 

Jaebum's knees felt weak. 

More talk came later, after their more base needs had been met. Jinyoung admitted that he had been playing with the idea of sucking Jaebum's cock at some point during their last three practices. Jaebum resisted lecturing about the importance of having work orientated priorities during this time. Instead, he told Jinyoung of his own lewd idea for them in this room. The couch and the mirror was involved.

Eventually, things like guidelines or rules or boundaries or whatever label got the job done was discussed. They were still single. They could secretly date others (as all idols do). They still plan on getting wives. No one could know. Things would continue this way for as long as they dared it to. Jaebum saw the whole situation as a way to safely satisfy any built up sexual urges. And no, he did not want to think about how big a role Jinyoung may play in igniting those urges. 

Though even those thoughts (the sexy Jinyoung ones) were harder to deny as the months went on and Jaebum found himself looking at Jinyoung, and liking what he saw, more and gazing at females less. Which is quite a feat considering females make up roughly 98% of their fan base and a large portion of the staff they worked alongside. He also didn’t know what was more annoying, having to watch Jinyoung freely kiss Mark or knowing the only time that they could do the same in public (without the attraction felt between them becoming obvious) was if there was some kind of paper or food product between them. Though, such days always led to more heated nights, so he wasn’t that annoyed. Not really.

Such thoughts had led to this night (the present night) and conversations like the one he had with Jackson and Mark. It had led him to consciously change the way he treated Jinyoung, not that he had been treating him poorly before. Now, he would try to kiss him more gently, make the sex last longer, keep Jinyoung's eyes open throughout (made all the more difficult whenever excitable Jinyoung took the lead). He tried touching him more outside of sex. Heck, he even offered to buy him a meat themed dinner, which is like, a date. He did everything except say, hey man, you know how we agreed to just be fuck buddies, well I want, I need, can we please have something deeper than that...? Crap, what had that phrase been again?

Present day Jinyoung thought his feelings were being tested and was staring down at Jaebum with his hands on his hips. With one hand clutching his balled up blue briefs and one of his striped socks still half way up his shin, the younger man looked as intimidating as a freshly bathed Choco. It calmed Jaebum's heart a bit. This is it.

He boldly said, "I'm saying I don't want you to see other people." If Jinyoung could have been caught more off guard, he would have dropped his underwear.

"What? I'm not... but, wait, what do you mean? You were talking about wanting me to stay. What other people?"

"Do you want to see other people?"

"So this is a test?" Jinyoung sighed and passed his underwear between his hands. "How did I cross the line this time?"Jaebum wanted to burn that line. Before, he thought it wouldn't work between them if they didn't see their relationship the same way. So, as explained earlier, every once and awhile, since Jinyoung is the more… sensitive of the two… and had a tendency to kiss the other members, really if one of them were to desire something more romantic with another guy, and Jinyoung was never all that interested in girls… Jaebum would try, would test, just how much he meant to Jinyoung, just how far the other was willing to take their relationship (apparently, watching some random girl flirt with Jaebum on a plane to the point of exchanging numbers is how far he’ll go to prove he’s okay with the idea of Jaebum still “being single”. Jaebum abandoned such methods of testing after a month of receiving random links, from Jinyoung, to gay porn - which, the younger man swears had nothing to do with the plane incident. Lies!). At other times, he would chastise Jinyoung whenever he got too sentimental, or would hold his shoulder or hand or waist for a bit too long in front of others, or stared at him too long in public... asked him why he was so handsome at a fanmeeting... Jaebum would always remind Jinyoung that he couldn't fall in love with him. Foolishly, he had failed to tell himself that.

"No, I- I was stupid before, for getting annoyed whenever you would do or say something nice or somewhat flirtatious to me. I shouldn’t have reprimanded you so much."

"And I’m glad you stopped, or thought you did-” Jabum knew where to go from here.

“You’re right, and we’ve been really close lately, haven’t we.”

“I guess so, sure. Look, I’m sorry if you think I’ve been a bit much while we are working, but I-”

“Stop. As long as it’s not at an awkward time, you can do as much fanservice as you want with me. It’s fine, really.” And it was good to know that his romantic endeavors of the past few months have completely gone unnoticed.

"Really? This is the exact opposite of what you have said before.”

“I was stupid before.”

Jinyoung’s eyes had been downcast, but now they looked straight at Jaebum as he said, “So, what, now you’re not worried about me falling in love with you?” 

"Do you love me?" He bit his lip and looked down again. Maybe Jaebum had read this all wrong. Maybe Jinyoung really wouldn’t or couldn’t fall in love-

"Yes." YES! wait...

"Romantically?" And not just as a friend. A flash of Jinyoung’s smile told him he was right to ask.

Jinyoung’s hand had moved to his neck as he asked, "Do you want me to be?"

"Answer my question first." 

"No." He whined. Jesus, Mark and Jackson, why was he making this so difficult? FINE. He'll be the brave one. Jaebum stood up, hoping his courage would do the same.

Jaebum took a deep breath and started with, "I want you to. I want you. I want you with me. Exclusively with me. I don't want you seeing other people. Get it now?" He could see the questions spinning behind Jinyoung's eyes. He would have probably been easier to believe if his words, before this day, concerning their relationship, hadn't expressed the exact opposite sentiment. So, he patiently waited as Jinyoung processed through the confusion, uncertainty, and circled back to the emotion he saw when they had first added benefits to their relationship: hope.

He still couldn't help asking, "You're not lying, right, trying to trick me into confessing?" Jaebum grinned a toothless grin and stepped towards him.

"Does it look like I'm lying?"

"I swear, if you're just fucking with my emotions, Hyung, it's over. No more of this." Jaebum grabbed the hand that had been swinging about as Jinyoung talked.

He said slowly, "I'm not fucking with you. I just want to keep fucking you, but... romantically."

"Classy."

"Shut up, this is difficult, you’re making this difficult." It was Jinyoung's turn to grin. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Jaebum's shoulders. Jaebum finally felt he was inches away from getting what he hadn’t known he truly wanted back when they had first kissed more than a year ago. 

"It’s okay, relax, Hyung-ie. Let me try.” Jinyoung looked up at the ceiling as he gathered his words. Jaebum resisted the urge to leave red stains on his neck. Another time perhaps. What he heard next broke his thoughts. “Im Jaebum hyung, I want to be with you. All of you. And I think you want that too. So, now I need to know, will you be my boyfriend?" Well, HE could have said all that.

"I was getting to that. That’s what-" Jinyoung’s smile fell.

"No, answer the q-" Jaebum revived Jinyoung’s smile with a kiss.

When they parted, Jaebum answered, "Yes. I will. Though, for the record, I technically asked you first."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did, when I said I wanted to keep-" Jinyoung simply smiled through his boyfriend's explanation and played with the neckline of his shirt. When he had heard enough, they kissed again and again and again. It somehow felt different from the kissing they had done earlier that night. Less rushed. Sweeter. Deeper.

When their mouths eventually separated, Jinyoung asked, “So, when do we get to tell the others?” 

“Never.” Jinyoung pulled as far back as Jaebum’s grip on his hips would let him. “They can’t keep secrets, especially when they drink, especially Youngjae. The whole company would know in a week.” Plus, if those idiots haven't figured out that two of their members have been fucking for the past two years, then they didn’t deserve to know. They probably did know. Maybe.

“I hear what you are saying and I disagree. I’m going to tell them. Now.” Jinyoung turned around to do just that. He felt that if he didn’t actually say the words, “Jaebum hyung is my boyfriend”, it couldn’t be real. Jaebum wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his chest to his back. “Don’t try to stop me, Hyung, I need to do this.”

“Jinyoung, you’re naked.” Oh.

“I know. You’re stopping me from getting dressed right now.” He could feel Jaebum shake his head behind him.

“Just calm down. How about, how about we make it a game instead. We won’t tell them. Instead, just… let’s be us. See who figures it out first, asks us if we are seriously dating. We can’t kiss in front of them, though, that’s cheating.”

“Why do I feel like nothing is going to change between us?”

“Maybe nothing really has, you know?” with his arms wrapped around him, Jinyoung tried to think of just what would be different (besides the feel of their kisses) now that they had redefined their relationship. Work would be the same. Home would be the same. Sex may feel different, but that’s about it. Then he thought about Jaebum’s proposal and of all the times he has had to resist looking (staring and smiling like an idiot) at or touching Jaebum while they were working. 

“Fine. I’ll play your game, but you know, that means a lot of JJ Project fanservice coming your way.”

Knowing how professional Jinyoung really is, he said, “I think I can handle it.” Jaebum also finally gave into the urge to ravish Jinyoung’s neck. He also mumbled, “Stay a bit longer.”

“No problem. Hmmm... feels good.” Jinyoung didn’t know how he could possibly leave if Jaebum’s hands and mouth continued touching him this way (the way of the sex). It didn’t help that his whole body is a sensitive area. Also, part of Jinyoung still couldn't believe what was happening. What just happened. So, what, they were really dating now? Jinyoung had been told, by Mark, that if he wanted to attract someone, he had to keep some distance, had to leave her wanting more. Jinyoung thought that was ridiculous and wondered why he had taken relationship advice from a single man with a sordid dating history. So, he did the opposite, he clung. He would physically place himself closer, he complimented more, he flirted (in front of fans, but it still counts); he tried insinuating himself more thoroughly into Jaebum’s life. If he had known this would lead to Jaebum offering the whole romantic package in such an awkwardly endearing way, he would have begun seducing the older man years ago. It was simple as that. 

Jinyoung also doesn’t think telling the guys he is dating (a girl) will be cheating. Awkward timing be damned, he was going to have fun with this “game”.


End file.
